Do you know that feeling, the one that makes you tingle because you're imagining something you really want to become and you're afraid it's never going to happen? You can see the grandeur but are terrified of the possibility of failure. You get excited and ashamed simultaneously upon discovering someone else has already become exactly what you want to be and they're really good at it.
Change is scary because it means risk, and remaining static seems to incur no risk. It's comfortable, like staying in bed on a cold Saturday morning. I can think of a million excuses and some of them are valid... but I want to change. I can see what I want to be. However, I am not sure how to get there safely. I've been inspired by a few shining examples- can I do that, too?
I don't really expect you to get this one, because I'm being purposefully opaque. But maybe you've dreamt big. Any advice on how to get past the fear?
7 comments:
This is extremely enticing! As one who dreams big but doesn't know how to put one foot in front of the other, I look forward to your readers' advice here.
P.S. if this has anything to do with photography I'll be happy to give you a big shove!
Dive in headfirst. Dreaming big means taking big steps a long the way.
Hey Maren!
I read this post a few days ago and it has been in the back of my mind since. It has really caused me to ponder and I wanted to share with you my thoughts….
First, some context: I believe we each have certain responsibilities and commitments in this life that we agreed to before coming to the earth (I believe that just about all we do in life should relate to these at least indirectly if not directly.). I also believe that we don’t remember what all those responsibilities and commitments are. But the Lord knows…and he will tell us what those things are….AND he has prepared a way for us to accomplish these things…successfully. This includes every aspect of our lives…not just going to church on Sunday, etc. (By the way, I believe you are already in sync with me on this…just had to preface the rest of my thoughts.)
When a goal is identified, there are always sacrifices that come along with it. We only have so much time, energy, money, etc. And, when we chose to devote those resources to one thing, another must be sacrificed, at least in part. Thus, the struggle (the “holding back”). How do we gain confidence (the strength and will to proceed)…the knowledge that what we are giving up is worth what will be gained?
For me it is all about personal revelation…to know that what I am choosing to do is the will of the Lord. Sometimes decisions are easy, sometimes they require a lot of prayer and fasting. But once I have received, personally, the acknowledgement of the Lord (this may be another point of discussion!), that He is behind me 100%, then I am confident and have the strength to move forward. (Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be like Nephi when the Lord told him in Helaman 10:4-5:
“..thou hast…sought my will, and to keep my commandments.
“And now because thou hast done this with such unwearyness, behold, I will bless thee forever; and I will make thee mighty in word and in deed, in faith and in works; yea, even that all things shall be done unto thee according to thy word, for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.”)
Of course, once confirmation is received, moving forward requires faith and trust in the Lord (yet, another point of discussion)….because usually I can’t see the whole picture (thus the “big and scary” part). It usually seems impossible to accomplish (again the “big and scary” part)….but as I move forward, and especially when I look back, I can always see how the Lord’s hand has made it possible. It usually doesn’t happen how I thought it would or in the time I thought it should….but it always turns out better than I could have ever imagined…and always perfectly suited for what I needed….even though sometimes I didn’t want some of it….yet, I have always grown and felt pure joy; I have always become a better person and grown closer to Jesus Christ, my Father in Heaven and others as a result. What more could I ask for?
The Lord knows our hearts, our desires, and our needs. He wants to bless us. He wants us to grow and develop. He will be there for us…as we live true to the light and truth we have received. We must be obedient. We must pray. We must be grateful. Wemust be patient. We must trust and follow Him in all things. We must, as President Hinckley so wisely stated, “..be a people of faith.” Yes, the short answer to getting past the “fear” is to have faith….which we know means to take action, to move forward in good works, and then reap the blessings that will follow….including becoming what/who you desire to be!
Wow…that was long. I hope it is helpful. Just as a side note, I think you are a wonderfully awesome person and want you to know that if ever there is anything I could do to support you in your efforts to become what you desire to be, I am here for you!
With that I must go make rolls and freeze them so they are ready to break out and bake for Thanksgiving Day! Hope your Thanksgiving plans are coming together, too J
Sincerely,
Dorothy
I get that feeling. When I get to the edge of hyper-ventilation because I will die never having accomplished anything worthy of my potential I try to rewind and think of a concrete action to put me in the other direction. I want to be a brilliant painter, well maybe I'll turn the tv off and go paint a picture. It's harder than it sounds and probably completely obvious advice but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one that gets that feeling. Nice post.
I know exactly what you're talking about, both specifically and generally. I'm in the middle of realizing one of my biggest EVER lifelong dreams and I don't have any advice on how to conquer the fear and take the leap but I can tell you that it feels AWESOME once you do. Amazing! In a lot of ways I feel like a totally, completely different person - finally MYSELF. Complete. -ish. Not there yet.
I went to a stuttering therapy seminar last week and the presenter mentioned something that struck a chord with me. Since stuttering is a disorder that is managed, not cured, the role of the speech therapist is to teach, train and support the client. But the stutterer himself has to do the hard part. The work. The day-in, day-out practice. So in that context he was talking about "readiness", meaning if the client is ready for therapy, meaning ready to face his stuttering, which is often his biggest fear and shame. A tall order. Sometimes the fear and pain of changing is too great and you just want to stay where you are. And he said something that I think applies to any big but scary dream: that it will only happen once the pain of change becomes less than the pain of staying the same. That's exactly what I was waiting for in my case. And how it gets to that point is different for everybody.
So I know that's not helpful but it is philosophical!
Actually, thank you to all of you. Each comment on this topic is helpful.
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