I knew it!

The genealogical fun continues this evening as I wander far, far, really far into my past. You know, like a thousand years ago. I'm always hoping to find some gem- like a distinctly Turkish name or something. That would be cool.

Well, this gets pretty good. Bear with me. About a million generations back, we are descended from Archbishop Håkon Thorersson of Oslo (early 1200's). Yesss! (Never mind that he married his sister.) Oh, and his mother, Sigrid Havtoresdatter Eyre-Iceland, was Icelandic of course. I knew I was more Scandinavian than that! He is also the great-great-great-grandson of Cecilie Sigurdsdatter, Princess Of Norway (1153-1185), who is the granddaughter of Malfrid Princess of Russia (1098-1137) (what?! I'm Russian?). This Russian princess gal was married to the Norwgian King Sigurd "The Crusader" (naturally). And he's the son of Magnus III 'the Bare-Footed' King of Norway (1050-1103) who is buried in Ireland- and I'll give you three guesses as to why. Now, Malfrid's heritage is really cool. She is of Russian, English, and Swedish (what?! I'm Swedish, too?) royal blood. Really royal. And her paternal great-grandmother was... wait for it... Maria, Princess of the Byzantine Empire (1018-1067) who married the Duke of Kiev. And, yes, Maria is the daughter of Konstantinos IX, Emperor of the Byzantine Empire (980-1055).

I am content. I can now go to bed.

Oh, and I'm sure you were wondering: all their temple work has been reserved.

The Teichert Wedding

My cousin, Michelle, married Greg a week and a half ago in the Washington, D.C. Temple. It was a lovely day. Congratulations to a beautiful couple and best wishes for an eternity of joy!

Reminder

I was at the Washington, D.C., Temple last Friday taking pictures of my cousin's wedding. As I left the parking lot, I positioned myself to take this shot as a spiritual reminder to myself that the object in the mirror is closer than it might seem. I thought I'd share it with you.

©2009 Maren Mecham. Do not remove from this blog.

When All Else Fails...

...Read the scriptures.

I've been having a terrible time trying to work regular scripture reading into my day lately. Maybe it's my total lack of schedule or maybe my level of exhaustion. There are excuses a-plenty but the fact remains that I feel the need to read like a hunger and can't figure out how to make the meals more regular. So today I just set the book on the kitchen counter and opened it randomly (to Alma 14). I left it there all day and read a few verses whenever I was in the kitchen waiting for someone to finish their snack or whatever. I can't say it was scripture "study", exactly, but it was something and it was great.

Today was filled with high emotions and numerous reminders from me to share, be generous, use nice words, go take a time out, etc. It was frustrating to be saying the same things to the same two kids all day long. That's when the genius struck and I give most of the credit to the fact that I read God's words today and had His teachings running around in my head. The inspiration was: Hold Family Home Evening tonight even though it's Thursday.

Family Home Evening is usually held on Monday night, it's true. We didn't have it this week because our schedule is still out of whack, but I know we needed it badly. So I searched the bookshelves for a kids' book about generosity but nothing seemed to fit the bill. I picked out "The Way I Feel", which is a good illustration and explanation of the full range of emotions a kid might experience. I also grabbed the June issue of the Friend Magazine and found a story about helping others. I picked up a church dvd with little shows about serving others and also one with scenes from the Savior's ministry so I could show some illustrations of what we're aiming for. My thought was to drive home the things I had been reminding them to do all day, but I was going to play it by ear, too.

I sat down on the couch and held the 2 year old on my lap. The girls sat down and the baby wandered around the room. Q wasn't home yet, but I knew I had to get this in before the littlest ones were ready for bed, so I was on my own. I said the prayer, then asked the 2 year old for some song suggestions (that's backward, I know, oh well). He came up with "Apricot Tree" (Popcorn Popping), then suggested and rescinded "I am a Child of God", so we sang "Roll Your Hands" and then he wanted "I am a Child of God" so we sang that too. The baby loves it when the whole family sings the same song so he was all ears and even tried to sing along. I read the book about feelings once through, then went back to each page and we talked about good feelings verses bad ones and what we can do when we're feeling angry/sad/jealous/bored/scared/frustrated to change it into something better. Most of the answers involved talking about it with another person. Yes! We were getting somewhere.

Next, I opened the Friend but went to another story called "Let it go". We sat down on the rug and read this one together. Q came home and held the boys on his lap as I read about how a little girl was gently taught by her parents to forgive and let go of her bad feelings toward another person. I had skimmed the article before but I got all choked up as I read it aloud because in the story the mom decides to hold a special Family Home Evening on a Thursday to help her daughter. Coincidence? No, it was a small witness to me that Heavenly Father listens and stands ready to assist me in my work if I will turn to Him for help.

I didn't end up using any of the videos... another time, perhaps. As all good FHE's do, this one ended with dessert (flan- not from scratch, but the kids helped make it). Everyone seemed a bit more calm and well-mannered. Maybe it was because Dad was home.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's scripture reading, grateful for the rich rewards for today's small efforts.

The Gift

The kids received many wonderful presents this Christmas and they have been quite busy enjoying all of them. However, the thing that inspires the most squabbling is... (drum roll)... the 2 year old's new Slinky! Everyone wants to play with it, especially if someone else already is. Amazing.

We had a nice, spiritual Christmas Eve followed by an enjoyable Christmas morning- complete with our traditional "last present" treasure hunt with rhyming clues. (It led to a small new CD player for the girls' bedroom.) We had a great time when my sister's family came on Christmas night, feasting on veggies, meatballs, chips, apple cider and egg nog. We all got up before the sun to see them off on their Canadian ski trip the next morning and it was over all too soon. As we sat down for lunch later that day, my son held up his cup and said, "Dad, can I have some more door knob in my cup, please?" We all cracked up- egg nog, my dear. It's called egg nog.

I love the Christmas Season. I'm glad for the traditions we experience every year and the extra layer of meaning they acquire annually. Most of all I'm grateful for Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who submitted himself to the will of our Father and created the path back to Him. He is the way whereby we return to our Father and the means whereby we become all that we were designed to be.

"He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" (Micah 6:8) What a gift we've been given! The example and atonement of Jesus Christ are so important to me. I intend to rejoice in these gifts and try to use them every day.

Light and Shadow

...this is the essence of photography. Where light and shadow are together, there is something to see and an image can be made. These polar opposites make up the visual part of this life- they are both required in order to see anything. Maybe opposites are required in order to understand.

Most things in life have their opposite, I believe. Beauty and chaos. Gorgeous September days and ice storms in March. Chocolate cake and pickled eggs. Sometimes the opposite of one thing is not as simple as we might have been taught when we were young... compassion and hatred are opposites, but as feelings they oppose apathy and are therefore part of a triangle of opposites. It can get complex, you see, but opposition is a necessary possibility in this mortal life. I'm not saying all bad things are necessary, just that they must be allowed. In order to have real agency, there must be the option to choose, and thus a full range of choices available. It's sad in a way, but true.

I don't usually dwell on this shadowy subject, but there have been some things floating through my life lately that have brought me back to these thoughts again and again. Today I was disturbed to read a blog post about horrible, awful things that happened some time ago in Rwanda. You can find the link on my sidebar: "My Marrakesh". Truly awful and unimaginable things- not for the faint-hearted reader. There is a fund to help, and of course I want to donate money to their organization.

Occasionally I am overwhelmed by the multitude of ways there are to help others; I find it terribly depressing rather than uplifting because it represents such an enormity of suffering compared to my tiny ability to actually make a difference. Should I give here or there? Now, or later? What if I do all I can and then find out about another equally deserving opportunity but have no surplus left? Where am I supposed to draw the line? Is there a place for guilt because of my fortunate circumstances? How do I help a friend who is headed down the wrong path without taking away her freedom to choose? If you add up all the awful things in the world, are we coming to the end? The difficult rhetorical questions could go on forever. Each of us has to work out her own answers.

I know that my mission in life is not to alleviate all suffering. Someone Greater than I has already taken care of that, though most of the effects take place in the next life. However, I know that compassion is built into my nature and I can do that which is within my scope to help other people. I appreciated the talk given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf last Saturday to the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (and applicable to everyone). It was titled: Happiness, Your Heritage. I loved that he was so positive in his message, for I needed a strong reminder that life is meant to be good despite all the crummy, disappointing, nasty, and truly evil things happening in the world each day.

His conclusion was this: "My dear sisters, I have a simple faith. I believe that as you are faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, as you draw closer to Him in faith, hope, and charity, things will work together for your good. I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father—as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others—God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment. As spirit daughters of our Heavenly Father, happiness is your heritage."

Life is made up of light and shadow. I choose light. And I want to share it.

Guiltlessness

My sister-in-law just wrote an eloquent post about a subject that goes through my mind every single day. (Go ahead, read it.) There's only so much you can do in a day and guilt is not that helpful. What matters most is how you treat people and what's in your heart.

When the Relief Society President approached me last week with her Visiting Teaching record sheet in hand, I immediately felt the guilt of not having visited my 6 sisters (with my 2 other partners). But she is a good friend of mine and was so understanding, suggesting a letter or phone call rather than a visit for the summer months. I can do that.

The temple? Family History? Missionary work? Food storage? I'm a believer in seasons. To everything there is a season, and time to every purpose under the heaven. Isn't that how it goes?

There was a season during which I was able to attend the temple as often as I wanted (because it was very close and I didn't have the family responsibilities I now have), and I believe it will come again someday. Right now I can make sure I'm worthy so I can take the chance to go when it's possible. Every once in a while I catch the family history bug. I'll catch it again sometime and make more progress. I look for ways to be a good example to my friends and a good neighbor. I rejoice in the recent baptism and temple sealing of a good high school friend and his wife. I re-joined Costco and am buying staples (and other good non-perishable things we like) in larger quantities. Small and simple things make a difference but, more than that, I'm trying to live right rather than check things off a list.

Sometimes you have to take the long view. My Dad's opinion is that time is a tricky thing and this life is like a concentrated version of eternity. I don't know if that's true (how would you prove it?), but sometimes each day feels like an eternity to me. My Mom has a sign over her desk that says, "Jesus is coming- look busy." It's in jest, of course, poking fun at the idea that outward actions are what saves you. But I think Shells is right; "breathe, slow down. Love your family, develop your relationship with God and others, and don't worry about living up to anyone else's perceived perfections." I have faith that God is even more loving than my RS President is, and that is a very good thing.

Sacred Spaces

The result of a project I was working on recently.

Solemn Assembly

Salem

Kocatepe Mosque

Manti in the Morning

©2008 Maren Mecham. Do not remove from this blog.

Oh, I want to be in that number...

... when the Saints go marching in. Actually, I want to be in that number when the Saints get to sit in the choir seats at Stake Conference.

I love singing. I have been a somewhat decent singer at various stages of my life but, unfortunately, now isn't one of them. I'm 32 weeks pregnant (8 weeks to go!) and so have seriously diminished lung capacity plus I have recently recovered from one of the worst cases of bronchitis ever... and my vocal chords took a real beating. Add that to the fact that I'm just plain out of practice and my voice is nothing special at the moment.

However, I still love singing, and have wanted to join our totally fantastic Branch Choir for quite some time. It's a great group of men, women, and young people led by a talented professional and accompanied by one of those people who can play just about anything. As a bonus, the fantastic director's fantastic husband is also an amazing musician and arranger of music. My current family situation is not ideal for staying after church: three worn-out kids, one of whom desperately needs a nap, and a husband who stays after for meetings of his own. So when I hear the choir perform every month, I have to remind myself that now is not my time. Someday, maybe I can manage it, but not yet.

Then, two weeks ago, they announced that our choir is singing in Stake Conference and now is the time for anyone who might have been considering joining the choir to do so. Eureka! I saw this as my great opportunity to be a part of it- at least for a limited time. We have stayed after for practice twice now, and it isn't easy for the kids. However, I have thoroughly enjoyed it! The music is great and it's so fun to sing with such a full and dedicated group under the direction of someone who really knows what they're doing. It can be a powerful, uplifting experience to express your faith through music and singing.

The conference is in two weeks and we have one more practice to go. It occurred to me that members of the choir will probably be sitting in their soft choir seats for the whole meeting. (Many of you already see where I'm going with this.) Since moving to Vermont four years ago, Quinn has not been able to sit with us during Sacrament Meeting; he's been on the stand (or "stand" in our case) as part of the Branch Presidency in one capacity or another. This is one of those rare chances he has to sit in the audience... with the kids. I feel a tinge of regret that he will not be getting anything out of the general session of Stake Conference this time around, but I am looking forward to a real spiritual feast. Especially when it comes to the music.

Dividing a Holiday

I love Easter. It's such a pleasant holiday in every way. I love the great and marvelous Reason we celebrate it, and I even like the various non-spiritual traditions that go along with it. I'm not so big on the Easter Bunny, per se, but I like the traditional meal, the baskets, the eggs, the beautiful array of spring colors allowed, and- yes, I'll admit it- the candy.

So far, my preparations have included: making egg nest cookies (see recipe below), gathering up some favorite candies like Brach's jelly beans, Cadbury mini eggs, Reece's peanut butter eggs, and the smallest chocolate bunnies I could find, and making sure we have this year's collection of puppets. (Long story coming.) Still to do on my list: boil and dye eggs with the kids on Friday night, make Finnish Pulla (cardamom bread), and plan the meal.

Long story: When Sonja was born, we lived in Cambridge, Massachusetts. One day, near Easter, I was browsing in The Wordsworth Children's Bookstore (now called Curious George and Friends) at Harvard Square.
I came upon a display of Folkmanis puppets and fell in love with an 11" tall chipmunk. I dug really deep for the seventeen dollars he cost (these were grad student budget days) and decided he would be the only thing in Sonja's Easter basket that year. After all, she was only 6 months old. We called him Filbert, and he was a huge hit. He played peek-a-boo, he clapped his hands, he scurried all over and tickled... he was lots of fun, and still is. He played a major role in Sonja's adjustment to Turkey the next year. Most Easters since then have featured a Folkmanis puppet as the main thing in the basket and we now have a good, if varied and odd, collection of puppets. (This year it's a skunk, a fairy, and a river otter.) Traditions are funny things and they often begin in accidental ways.

This year, though, I am looking forward to deliberately trying something new to see if I can bring an added measure of spirituality to our Easter. I was reading the February edition of the Ensign magazine, and came upon a great little collection of reader-submitted ideas for making a family Easter celebration more spiritual. They all sounded good to me, but there was one in particular that got me thinking. I decided to run it past Quinn to see if it was okay to adopt, and he agreed.

Thus begins our new tradition of Spring Day. From now on, we will have our egg hunt and baskets on a Saturday before Easter (which we shall call "Spring Day"), and Easter Sunday will be reserved for a special meal and Family Home Evening devoted to reading the scriptures and learning new Easter songs. No commercialism allowed that day. Whew, what a relief! Now I can separate those two halves of the holiday and emphasize the spiritual message without distractions. I have great hopes for this system, which is similar to the way we do Christmas at our house.

I'm so excited for Easter! I've felt the wonderful joy of this celebration before- it's been burned into my heart on several occasions- and I always look forward to hearing the story and feeling that exultant elation of the Spirit again. Christ is the Lord, our Savior, and I know it! He atoned for our sins, died and was resurrected for us so that we might have the opportunity to return again into the presence of God the Father. It's the most amazing and wonderful gift, and it fills me with joy. Happy, Happy Easter!



What are your family's Easter traditions?


Egg Nest Cookies:

---

1/2 cup butter
3oz cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon almond or lemon extract
1 cup flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon water
4-5 drops green food coloring
1 1/3 cups flaked coconut

Jelly beans

Beat the butter and cream cheese together till well mixed. Add sugar and extract and beat till fluffy. Add flour, baking powder and salt and beat until well mixed and cohesive. Cover and chill dough 1-2 hours. Meanwhile, prepare the coconut by adding water, food coloring and coconut to a screw-top jar. Shake to color all the coconut. (I spread it out on waxed paper to dry a bit.)

Heat oven to 350º. Remove dough from refrigerator. Shape into 1" balls, roll in coconut, place 2" apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 15-20 minutes till edges are firm. While cookies are still hot, press a jelly bean in the center of each. Cool on wire racks. Makes about 25 cookies.

How to Extend Christmas

"It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you...."
-Mother Theresa

I would submit that it is also Easter every time you let God love others through you. Because without Easter, Christmas is not very meaningful at all. Easter is when the extent of God's love was shown through Christ.

Go Tell It on the Mountain

I am enjoying this Christmas season. It's both new and old each year. I have been thinking about how Christmas is different for me now (at 34) than it was 5, 10, 15, 20, and 25 years ago. It's interesting to think about how perspective changes and richness is added.

I particularly enjoy taking out the tree ornaments and thinking about how each one was acquired and when. My Christmas tree isn't the most glamorous, but it's quite meaningful to me. My favorite ornament? Easy. It's the soft wooden pear with the silvery leaf. It was purchased maybe 10 years ago at the Discovery store, and was one of the first ornaments Quinn and I purchased together. There were three different ones bought that year, but the pear is my favorite.

These days I get a little caught up in the managment of Christmas- playing Santa, as it were. I enjoy creating surprises for others, but I have to remind myself that this should not be my main focus, no matter how generous and charitable a gift-giver I am. It's not the same as being Christ-centered; it's still too commercial and egotistical.

This year I followed my sister's example and made an advent calendar of activities for the family. Each day we pin an ornament on a Christmas tree wall-hanging and unfold a small piece of paper in the day's pocket to find the activity. They have been as simple as "sing 2 carols" or "watch Mr. Kreuger's Christmas". Some have been Christmas parties or local events like the gingerbread house exhibit, and some have been baking treats and taking them to the neighbors, or donations to the school food and gift drive. I was skeptical about my ability to keep this up for a month, but I've found it gives us a focus on the season and an excuse to do things together that we lack at other times of the year.

In the end, though, I suppose it is the Christmas Eve family ritual which is the real Christmas for me. Reading the scriptures together and singing songs and talking about our own feelings about Jesus... this is the worship service that matters most. It's the annual experience within our family which reinforces our bond and replenishes our faith in Christ. It's like the great climax of all the Family Home Evenings of the year. Without it, Christmas would be about me- and maybe you. But it isn't... and that's Good News indeed.

Spiritual Math

I really like it when math and spiritual thoughts come together. I'm sure there are people out there with more elaborate examples than mine, but here are a few that have been sticking in my mind lately. They came up because one of them applied to a lesson I taught in church today, although I didn't end up using the example.


In the book Man, Woman, and Diety, Sherrie Johnson uses a triangle to show the ideal relationship between a couple and God. As you can see, it works quite nicely because the closer the couple gets to God, the closer they come to each other as well. I like that one.

From another book, Believing Christ by Stephen Robinson, I learned an equation which is a pretty good representation of the atonement and grace. He says, "Simply consider the mathematics of it: If Christ is infinite and unlimited, but I am finite and limited, and we become one, what do Christ and I together add up to? What is the sum of an infinite, positive quantity and a limited, negative quantity (∞ + -x)? Why, infinity, of course! Infinity plus any amount, positive or negative, equals infinity." This, too, is a satisfying example because it portrays the scope of the atonement of Christ: that it can really swallow up our sins and shortcomings. Some days (or during some periods of my life) my number might be 5 or 500, but sometimes it's -20. The number is not the point. The point is that we need to believe Christ when he says he is the way, and our faith in him (followed by repentance) is the addition sign in the equation.

The third example I have is a bit less refined, since I made it up myself. I'm no physicist, but it seems to me that you can apply the laws of physics to the idea of spiritual conversion. Conversion means to change, and I might define it as a change in direction from following our own will to following the will of God.

If I am to be converted, what needs to happen? First, I have a certain spiritual mass and I already have a speed and direction in this life. To change my direction, I need a force. In conversion, the Holy Ghost or Spirit of God acts as the best force. I say best because other forces can cause a person to get baptized, but only a change brought about by the powerful force of the Spirit can make that change permanent. Some people have a really great, huge spiritual experience which gives them enough force to change their direction toward the will of God all at once. (Imagine the sharp curve on a graph.) Some people have lots of small experiences with the Spirit which slowly change their direction over time. (Gentler curve.)

If my spiritual mass is great, then it takes more force to change my direction because of inertia. If my spiritual mass is small, it's easy to change. To me, mass is akin to the softness or hardness of my heart, my ability to feel the Spirit, and my level of selfishness. When my heart is soft, conversion is easy. This could go on and on, and I'm sure there are people who understand these priciples better than I. But, as Bill Nye would say, "Thank you for considering the following".